Saturday, November 30, 2013

Better Off?

I think the last time I went shopping on Black Friday was 1988. And it was not so much a legitimate shopping excursion as the warped curiosity of a bored teenager...as well as an exercise in creative road rage as my best friend at the time, who was the designated driver, sought a space in the mall parking lot.

Today, as on most Fridays following Thanksgiving, I simply relished the day off. This morning I slept in, stayed in my pajamas, and spent some time with my kids.

However, over in Tent City today, the term "Black Friday" takes on a different meaning: a resident named Mario Gerra - passed away.

I was unable to associate the name with a face, but many of my friends and personal acquaintances DID know Mario, and there is some measure of comfort knowing that he didn't die as just a nameless homeless person. He died as a member of a community. He was someone's neighbor, someone's friend. He will be remembered.

There's so much talk about "quality of life" as it applies to keeping a brain-dead, terminally ill, or severely disabled person alive. Often, people mistakenly equate the quality of one's life with the degree of personal attachment they have to the dying person. Or how intensely their absence will be felt by those who care for them.

It seems that the more emotionally attached we are to someone, they need to stay alive at all costs. If we feel apathy or hate towards a person, or even they inconvenience us or make us feel uncomfortable, suddenly it's perfectly justifiable to dehumanize them. The latter are the people who are "better off dead."

Indeed, the homeless are in danger of dying young, and dying of preventable conditions. They are more likely to carry a diagnosis of chronic physical and/or mental health issues as well as substance addiction or misuse. Our healthcare system makes it nearly impossible for the poor to receive preventative care, and the homeless (particularly those living in isolation on the streets) are not likely to have access to the services that might have saved them. They are also subject to malnutrition, isolation, and environmental conditions (i.e., hypothermia from sleeping outdoors) that more privileged members of society are not. Often, they are so caught up in trying to survive from one moment to the next that any thought of the future - including their future health - becomes irrelevant.

And the attitude is that, if someone is unable to see the inherent worth in their own life - if they don't actively seek help or elicit other folks to do so on their behalf, or if they've committed a serious crime - they deserve to die. The phrase "better off dead" is thrown around quite a bit in those situations.

As of right now, I do not know the circumstances surrounding Mario's death, nor can I say whether his homelessness was a contributing factor.

But his passing does serve as a reminder of our commonality. All human beings - rich, poor, healthy, sick, old, young - have the same basic needs. Physically, they need the right foods to nourish their bodies, clothing and shelter to protect them from the elements. But they also have emotional needs that include a sense of self-worth, belonging, human connection, and dignity. All human beings deserve to live - and eventually die - knowing someone cares for them. Knowing they are not alone.

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